Week 6 Story: Bhima and the Rakshasa
Heading southwards through the forest after leaving the subterranean passage, the Pandavas and Queen Kunti must stay strong, but only Bhima is cut out for this type of work. The forest is filled with creatures who crave human flesh like reptiles, man-eating asuras, and large rakshasas that are built like a professional linebackers. The group becomes fatigued except for Bhima, so he stays extremely attentive to keep everyone protected. After some time, they finally find a good place to settle for the night and get some rest. Bhima knows that they must eat to regain energy for the next day's journey. So, he instructs Arjuna to watch over the group while he gathers some recourses for the next day. Bhima wants to make this trip quick and quiet because he knows rakshasa's can smell human flesh. As Bhima continues his journey for recourses, he notices a beautiful woman tied to a tree. The woman has blue eyes with long and wavy blonde hair. As a reaction, Bhima immediately jogged towards the woman, but he stopped for a second. He knew rakshasa's are capable of transforming themselves, so he thought it was a trick. Bhima began to look around for clues around and in the trees. He noticed a pair of red eyes on top of a gigantic tree. As he looked closer, he noticed the branch was slanted the incorrect way, thus making an assumption that someone or something was on that tree. He calls out into the forest, "Who is out there?". The girl responds, "Help! Help! Be careful, he is watching us!". After the girls response, an enormous sound is heard around the forest. The creature steps out of the darkness and reveals himself. The creature was indeed a rakshasa. He was tall and so muscular that a piece of paper could cut his popping veins. Then, Bhima realizes that it was a trap and quenches his fists to prepare for a battle. "My name is Hidimba. Welcome to my part of the forest. No human can trespass through this area without providing me a days worth of food," said Hidimba. Bhima replied, "I am here to find food for my own. I shall fight for my freedom until I am removed from the land of the earth. I am no coward, and I will also let no man tie a woman to a tree." Bhima and Hidimba begin to fight in the forest. The forest was so dark that neither of them could be seen. Only the punching and tackling, along with the sound of breaking trees and branches from the brutality of the fight could be heard. Hidimba threw Bhima into a spot where the moon shined through a treeless whole in the forest. The girl finally got a good look at Bhima and fell in love. She noticed that Bhima was weak and hurt. She knew that if she didn't free herself from the tree then Bhima would be finished by the rakshasa. She used a sharp branch that landed by her from the fight to free herself. As Hidimba was about to take his first bite on the weak sided Bhima, the girl jumped on his back and cracked his neck. A loud grunt came from Hidimba. His now dead body was pulled by gravity and landed on top of fragile Bhima. The girl removes the body from Bhima and lets him take a second to breath. "Who are you?", said Bhima. "After seeing your bravery and fearlessness, I hope to be your wife. But let's go find the rest of your group first before we get into anything," replied the girl.
Author's note: The original source story I used was Bhima and Hidimba from the public domain edition. Originally, the group, the Pandavas and Queen Kunti, never separate. There was never anyone leaving to find resources. Rather, Bhima is on duty while everyone is getting rest. While he is on duty, a beautiful woman approaches him. The woman was a transformed version from a rakshasa and she was Hidimba's sister. Hidamba sent her out to find food for the evening, but she actually falls in love with Bhima. Instead of actually deceiving Bhima and the rest of the group for food for Hidimba, she wants to help them. But she takes too long to report back to her brother, so he comes out to find her and the food instead. When Hidimba sees his sister and Bhima, he threatens everyone to death. Then, Hidimba and Bhima fight. Bhima is actually easily able to win the fight in the original story. I decided to not make the girl in my story a rakshasa because it takes pride away from Bhima, in my opinion. So, I decided to have her help Bhima defeat Hidimba. This way of telling the story shows a better love story between the two.
Bhima defeating Hidimba, the rakshasa, from wikipedia.
Bibliography: Bhima and Hidimba from Indian Myth and Legend by Donald A. Mackenzie. 1913
Hello Aj, this is a wonderful story. I like your plot and the little twist in character role. One suggestion I could make in this post is the organization of your page. Try spacing your story out into paragraphs, and make sure to indent when starting a new one. You did a good job showing the drama in the plot. I cannot wait to see how far you take this plotline.
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ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story! I thought the plot was great with no loose ends or plot holes that would have left me confused. The characters were represented really well compared to the original story, and even with the slight variation, I think you maintained the plot well. I think that if a person that had never read the Mahabharata before read this story, they would still enjoy it and be able to understand the plot easily. By eliminating the need for background knowledge, I think the clarity and flow of the story was really good! I particularly enjoyed your use of imagery to describe scenes or the characters themselves. I think that that gave the reader an opportunity to vividly imagine the scene and have your story 'come to life' in a sense. The only thing I would suggest is lengthening your story just a little bit to provide the reader with more details and give your story more depth. I'm excited to read what stories you will write in the future!
Hi AJ! Your story was very interesting and definitely kept my interest throughout. You were very clear and I wasn't left with wandering thoughts about anything in your story. I like the way you stuck to the original plot while enhancing the role of the characters with the details you that you added for each of them. Your story is very concise yet included many great details that allowed the reader to imagine the setting and characters better than they might have without the details. Overall, really great job!
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